The Christmas Party
The Sterling & Sons Accounting Firm annual Christmas party was always mandatory, always held in the beige event hall of the airport Hilton, and always introduced with a theme that made everyone immediately regret their career choices. This year's theme, announced in a stern memo from Mrs. Sterling (wife of the titular Sterling and self-appointed Director of Fun), was "A Very Wild-Life Christmas Gala." Our protagonist, Gary, a mild-mannered accounts junior whose loudest internal thought was usually about whether he’d remembered to defrost the chicken, had done his best. He was wearing a beige sweater with felt patches depicting a highly confused owl wearing earmuffs. It was lame, but compliant. He arrived promptly at 6:30 PM, armed with the social goal of consuming one free glass of sparkling wine and escaping before the raffle of the fruitcake signed by Mr. Sterling. The Scene of the Crime The ballroom was already a disaster. The decorations were an uncomfortable cla...